at 3:00 in the morning

This. This just happened at 3:04 a.m., and all I could do was laugh.

Not a normal response, mind you. However, approximately 30 minutes ago, this 32+ week pregnant mama was awoken by my oldest daughter saying that the youngest daughter was in complete hysterics. Said hysterical child would NOT state the problem nor be comforted by anyone other than said pregnant mama. Three annoyed and grumpy older sisters were all awake and had endured enough tears from the youngest sister.

This comes on the heels of a fun (yet exhausting) weekend away where no one (especially the pregnant mama) got enough sleep. Though completely justified, I thought it might be weird to cart in the five pillows that I sleep with nightly just to survive two nights in a hotel. I may reconsider in the future if necessary.

Anyway, so upon arrival in the girls' room, I know right away what has happened. Olivia has wet the bed, and she is as worked up as an old wet hen. She cannot stop crying to save her life, and despite the moaning and groaning from the two oldest sisters and multiple offers to "help" from child number three, I am doing my best to calm down Olivia.

Did I mention that Josh has the nerve to still be out of town for the next 17 hours? Back to the story.

Olivia starts spouting off demands between sobs of discomfort: I need new jammies...and I only want soft, fuzzy ones...and I need Vaseline for my bottom because it itches...and I'm cold and wet...and...and...and...

And since it's 2:45 a.m., it is absolutely reverse hostage negotiation time. I will do just about anything at this point to calm down this raging storm of a five year old. Because let's be honest... discipline at this late (or maybe early?) hour is not going to get us anywhere.  Put out that fire and get all of those kiddos back to sleep!

The initial round of pajama options that I presented were denied on account of not being comfy enough. The fuzzy blue penguin pajama pants were then demanded, but they were nowhere to be found. These negotiations were not going well.

So my pregnant body starts frantically digging through laundry hampers and finds the requested item after approximately two minutes and seven seconds. Not bad on the whole. The remaining negotiations went quickly enough to satisfy all involved.

I get Liv cleaned up and transferred to a different sleeping location, clean up her bedding and bed, and make it to my own bedroom of refuge.  And then the spider...thinking he was all up in my face and trying to get a reaction out of me while sitting so nicely on my comforter.

My message to the spider: Ha. Ha. Ha. You don't scare me. I just dealt with a crazed, dazed, and unreasonable five year old for the last 20 minutes.  I laugh in your general direction!!!

Okay...time to sleep.