eleven years

Whenever I look at photos from our wedding day, I can't help but think about all of the things that I've learned over the last eleven years.

When I was in high school, I remember wondering who I would marry someday.  I thought it would be so much fun to jump into the future and see a day in the life of future Jackie.  I wanted to see the name that I would sign on my checks at the grocery store.  {I find this extremely amusing because I'm pretty sure that I've never written a single check at the grocery store.}  I wanted to see my home, my car, my job, my life.  

I would have loved seeing my girls.  I would have been shocked to find that we have four.  I would have loved seeing Josh.  I would have been shocked {and excited!} to find out that he was my husband.  We met initially when I was 15, and I had such a crush on him. :)  I thought he was totally out of my league.  I would have loved seeing our home, but I would have been shocked to find that we only had one television.  I would have been completely unimpressed with the evolution of technology based on the lack of it in our home.  I probably wouldn't have realized that a large majority of people our age had flat screened televisions hanging on their walls.  I would have for sure been disappointed that I was driving a minivan instead of a Dodge Durango which was my future dream vehicle in 1995.  

When Josh and I got married, I thought I was ready for the life that was ahead of me.  I wasn't.  I don't think you ever are.  It's not possible to be prepared for life when you haven't lived much of it.  Experience is life lived.  

When I look at our wedding photos, I can't help but think that I was unknowingly two weeks away from landing my first teaching job, three weeks away from welcoming 24 students into a 5th grade classroom, and five weeks away from unexpectedly conceiving a child.  Oh my.  It overwhelms me just to think about it.  That summer seems like a lifetime ago, and yet where has the time gone?

During that four month period in 2002, I had graduated college, bought a house, gotten married, began my first year teaching, and gotten pregnant.  I remember people being shocked by all of the changes in my life, but honestly I just didn't know any different.  Life experience was certainly having its way with me.

There was so much going on during our first year of marriage that I don't remember a lot of it.  I remember not cooking much, mostly because I was so exhausted, overwhelmed, and inexperienced.  My mom came to my rescue and cleaned my messy house on more than one occasion because I just didn't even know how to keep on top of that 1200 square foot house {with no children in it yet}.  The thought kind of makes me laugh at this point.  There are certainly days when I still feel overwhelmed by my never-ending to-do list around here, but now I have daughters to help me instead of my mom.  I'm sure she appreciates the change of roles.

At 23 years old, I didn't know how steady that man standing beside me would be...no idea at all.  He's so steady.  So constant.  So predictable.  He doesn't waver about anything that really matters.  He's a generous provider, a thorough planner, and undeniably, my favorite person in the world to spend time with.  What an absolute blessing.  And other than the fact that I loved spending time with him, I'm pretty sure that I didn't truly know a lot of these things on our wedding day.

But I would learn.

At 23 years old, I had never cooked dinner 5 nights in a row, done more than 2 loads of laundry in a week, cleaned up a child's vomit, moved an entire household, bawled in complete helplessness over a sick child, had a gray hair, forced medication down a 5 year old's throat, completely lost my patience, changed 6,000 diapers, taken a child to the emergency room, read the same book what seemed like 63 times in the same afternoon, or fully appreciated the sound of silence at the end of a day.

In the last eleven years, I have experienced some of the most amazing things.  I've held four of the most lovely babies on the face of the planet.  I've felt overwhelming gratitude.  I've sang children to sleep.  I've owned and sold a business.  I've taught two children how to read.  I've heard the words "yuv you" from the lips of all of my children at age two and have decided that it never, ever gets old.  I've figured out how to survive as a wife and mother.

I've gained a whole lot of life experience in the last eleven years.  I know there is more to come, both ups and downs.  The gray hairs that have appeared on my head inform me that I do, indeed, have some experience.  The brown ones remind me that there is still a lot to learn.

These days are filled with more hard work, dishes, laundry, planning, and prayer than I could have thought possible when I imagined my future at age 16.  Yet when I take a step back and occasionally achieve a good night's sleep, they are also filled with more joy, thankfulness, and blessings.  I could not have ever imagined the goodness of these years, and while I had initially planned them differently, I truly wouldn't trade them for anything else.

What a true blessing it is to stand beside Josh and raise our four daughters.  What a true blessing it is to live this life.  Eleven years from now, we'll be in a whole different ball game.  Instead of just entering the tween years and ending the toddler years, we'll be ending the tween years and entering the college years.

There is nothing innately exciting about the eleventh year of marriage other than it's starting to sound like longevity.  Eleven is comfortable to me.  Eleven means that we're through the physically hardest days of parenting.  Eleven means that the emotionally hardest days are on their way.

Eleven is good.

the magician's nephew

C. S. Lewis has to be one of my favorite authors.  He says things in such a way that just makes things so clear and so simple.  When I read his writings, sometimes I think, "How did I not think of it that way before?"

I've read both fiction and non-fiction by Lewis.  While I'm pretty sure someone read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to me as a child, I recently decided to read the entire Chronicles of  Narnia series from start to finish.  I just completed The Magician's Nephew, the first book of the series.    

Since I was able to download the book onto my kindle from the library, I was able to easily highlight all of my favorite quotes from the book.  I have compiled the list into this post.

I apologize in advance if this post bores you.  It's really just for me.  And hopefully, when my kiddos grow up, they'll read Lewis again as adults and will be able to look back and compare some of their favorite quotes with mine.

Lewis' matter-of-factness {which spell check is informing me is not a real word} is so fun to read.  You'll see a lot of it in the quotes that I've posted.  Enjoy...

She was quite as brave as he about some dangers (wasps, for instance) but she was not so interested in finding out things nobody had ever heard before; for Digory was the sort of person who wants to know everything, and when he grew up he became the famous Professor Kirke who comes into other books.

There was a long, dull story of a grown-up kind behind these words.

Aunt Letty was a very tough old lady: aunts often were in those days.

"I wonder what Polly's doing?" thought Digory.  He wondered about this a good deal as the first slow half-hour ticked on.  But you need not wonder, for I am going to tell you.

As a result she was told that she had been very naughty indeed and that she wouldn't be allowed to play with "that Kirke boy" any more if anything of the sort ever happened again.  Then she was given dinner with all the nice parts left out and sent to bed for two solid hours.

During his long watching and waiting one small thing happened which I shall have to mention because something important came of it later on.

"Hullo! What's that?" thought Digory.  "Fire-engine?  I wonder what house is on fire.  Great Scott, it's coming here.  Why it's Her."  I needn't tell you who he meant by Her.

"No, Aslan, we won't, we won't," said everyone.  But one perky jackdaw added in a loud voice, "No fear!" and everyone else had finished just before he said it so that his words came out quite clear in a dead silence; and perhaps you have found out how awful that can be--say, at a party.

We must now go back a bit and explain what the whole scene had looked like from Uncle Andrew's point of view.  It had not made at all the same impression on him as on the Cabby and the children.  For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.

Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

He awoke from his faint.  What a wakening it was!  But we must leave him to think over his wicked deed (if he was likely to do anything so sensible) and turn to more important things.

All the sharpness and cunning and quarrelsomeness which he had picked up as a London cabby seemed to have been washed away, and the courage and kindness which he had always had were easier to see.

"He thinks great folly, child," said Aslan.  "This world is bursting with life for these few days because the song with which I called it into life still hangs in the air and rumbles to the ground.  It will not be so for long.  But I cannot tell that to this old sinner, and I cannot comfort him either; he has made himself unable to hear my voice.  If I spoke to him, he would hear only growlings and roarings."

"Child," he replied, "that is why all the rest are now a horror to her.  That is what happens to those who pluck and eat fruits at the wrong time and in the wrong way.  The fruit is good, but they loathe it ever after."

And Digory could say nothing, for tears choked him and he gave up all hopes of saving his Mother's life; but at the same time he knew that the Lion knew what would have happened, and that there might be things more terrible even than losing someone you love by death.

So that Digory felt just as sure as you that they were all going to live happily ever after.  But perhaps you would like to know just one or two things more.

And though he himself did not discover the magic properties of that wardrobe, someone else did.  That was the beginning of all the comings and goings between Narnia and our world, which you can read of in other books.

our family chores

Training kids for chores is a whole lot of work.  It's also an enormous blessing to our family.  I've made chore charts for the kids for several years.  I think I started with Claire when she was 4.

I'm a huge believer in chores for kids.  They help make the mess; they should help clean it.  It also provides good training for when they leave the house as well as when parents are busy or ill and need some additional assistance.  

Chores within your home will look different depending on whether you have younger kids, older kids, kids in public/private school, or kids at home who homeschool.  Schedules and abilities will vary...be flexible.  It's a complete trial and error process until you can find something that works well for your family.  We've done it several different ways.  What I'm describing here is what is currently working for our family.  

I used to make new charts for the kids every few weeks so that the kids wouldn't get bored with their chores.  And then, I read about a woman who had her kids do the same chores for an entire year.  Wow!  Being someone who likes variety, I didn't know if this was for our family.  Then, I had Olivia, and I did my best to simplify virtually everything in my life...including chores.  

I decided to give the kids daily chores and weekly chores that they would do the entire year.  I knew that once I taught them how to do their chores, I wouldn't have to teach new chores again for a year.  Doing the same chores for the entire year would give them routine as well as allow them to master a specific chore/skill.  This year, I'm training in the summer so that everyone will be in their routine by the time the school year starts.

I typically choose chores for my kids that help our household run smoothly.  I try to think about what drives me most crazy by the time we make it to 1:00 in the afternoon {which is about the time we do chores}, and I base their daily chores on those things.  Usually, the entryway is a mess, there are toys/games/things all over the kitchen and family room, the main area of our kitchen and the bar area are covered in crumbs of food, the kitchen counter needs attention, etc.  You get the idea.  This year I added dinner/after dinner chores for everyone as well.  This is a first for us...prior to this year, I have always wanted the girls to be able to get all of their chores finished during our "chore time."  It's working well so far.

On a side note, this is the first time in a couple of years that no one has had a "mom's choice" chore.  I've had those on our charts a lot, and I'm always thankful for that specific chore.  I can choose anything I'd like, and there is usually something random that needs done.  Consider adding this to your own kids' charts if you need an extra idea.

I always give my kids a set of daily chores and a set of weekly chores.  I assign their weekly chores to specific days, or the kids would wait until the last day, and everything would turn into a huge fight.  

Here are our chore lists for this year:

Claire {10 years old}

daily 

make bed, pick up bedroom floor, load dishwasher after dinner, wash pots and pans

weekly

Sunday: make dinner with Meredith

Monday: one load of laundry {pinks...I know you're not surprised to know that we have a full load of pinks :)}

Tuesday: sweep and steam the entire kitchen floor, clean the bathroom

Wednesday: vacuum all carpeted rooms

{This year, I allowed Claire to choose the days of the week in which she wanted her weekly chores.  I know she is going to have more school work this year, so she will have the flexibility to "make up" her weekly chores on Thursday and Friday if she doesn't get them done on the first couple of days of the week.  We'll see how it goes once school starts.}

Meredith {8 years old}

daily

make bed, pick up bedroom floor, sweep main area of kitchen and under bar, pick up entryway/hallway, kitchen counter clean up with Mom, wipe table and main counter after dinner

weekly

Sunday: make dinner with Claire

Tuesday: sweep entryway and hallway

Thursday: one load of laundry {light colored towels}

Amelia {5 years old}

daily

make bed, pick up bedroom floor, pick up family room floor and kitchen floor, pick up 50 toys/things in the playroom, set dinner table, clear dinner table with Mom

weekly

Tuesday: dust family room

Wednesday: load of laundry with Mom {dark colored towels}

Me

daily

make bed, pick up bedroom floor, declutter kitchen

weekly

Monday: kitchen {The kitchen usually gets a bit crazy over the weekend, so Monday is a good day to get it back in order.}

Tuesday: straighten/clean master bathroom

Wednesday: declutter laundry room, office, hanging rack in entryway

Thursday: lesson plans/school prep

Friday: wipe cabinets/appliances, prep laundry

Saturday: laundry

  

If everyone gets to work, usually they can finish their chores in about 30 minutes.  The complaining, moaning, and distractions usually add to the time.  Some days, my kids really get right to work and are done in a flash...other days, not so much.  As of now, I'm pretty much walking along side of Amelia to keep her on task while she's learning.  She gets overwhelmed easily, but if I'm helping her, it's not so bad.  

While I'm really good at getting my kids to complete their chores, I'm not the best at getting my own completed.  I've been doing better in recent weeks, but honestly, the laundry room and the office are huge collecting spaces in our home.  We're working on it.  I try not to get too overwhelmed and just try to put out the biggest fire at the time.  

Here are some good links for chore chart printables or fill-in printables to make your own:

http://www.designfinch.com/2011/07/31/sunday-planning/ {I'm using one from this list for Claire and myself this year.}

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/6a/9a/95/6a9a953c46a238cd327918ee3ef6b1c6.jpg {I'm using this for Meredith and Amelia.}

http://blog.worldlabel.com/2012/organizing-labels-for-more-stuff.html {I used these last year.}

http://www.howdoesshe.com/1-free-organizational-printables/

I always print them, laminate them, and hang them near the kitchen.  

Happy cleaning!